Once you have decided on the possibility of having fertility treatment with a clinic or Home ICI (if in the US) you will then make the decision on whether you have a ‘known’ donor or an ‘unknown/closed donor'.

Research Clinics

Always ensure you research clinics you decide to look at, & if you can try to attend their open evenings to get a feel for their values, how their staff work & what their clinic is like. Give their websites a good read, follow them on social media to see what their values are & what is important to them. You want to ensure you are not just a ‘number’ but a patient & your journey is important. It is a huge decision going for fertility treatment so you want to choose a clinic who are not only medical but compassionate & understanding. Also check out their website regarding serving LGBT+ patients- ask them the % of patients year on year that they treat from our community, & is their language inclusive? Do they have an in depth understanding of our community & our needs?

LGBT+ Inclusive

When choosing a clinic, you may want to check their website or marketing to see how inclusive they are. It’s important to try to use a clinic that already have experience supporting LGBT+ people & have an in depth understanding of the barriers you may have faced, along with who you are as a person & your possible needs. Check out their website. What kind of language do they used? What images do you see- are there people like yourself visibly represented or others within the community? What are their forms like? How safe did others like you feel in their care? You can also ask them what % off patients are from the LGBT+ community & the success rates for them. This will give you an idea of how inclusive they are, & ensure you feel understood & supported by experienced professionals.

Clinic Location

When looking for a fertility clinic, dependant on what treatment you go for you need to expect that you may have to make frequent trips back & forth to the clinic, during work hours & out of hours. 

You may decide on a clinic that is close to your home or work, that you can get to quickly for appointments (although you may be able to travel further for a better clinic dependant on your financial & work situation).

Some people decide to travel either abroad of out of area or State for treatment; this may be due to cost, wanting to seek a better service, a service that’s not provided in your area or because you’re limited due to the criteria of your local clinics (age, BMI, fertility). Soe people like to travel abroad to a clinic because they want to relax & have a holiday or are doing so in private so do not want people knowing their whereabouts. You may want to make sure you have some understanding of the language where you can, & check the legalities before you travel, as if you have issues with your treatment, you may have difficulty with the local laws or getting support in regards to negligence. 

Success Rates

Many clinics display their success rates based on demographic on their websites but you can also access this information from Fertility regulators like the  HFEA, ASRM or ESHRE. Ensure you check for the treatment you are interested in & your demographic rates i.e. ‘IVF Live Births under 35’. Don’t put too much pressure on success rates though, as these are impacted by the people that attend that clinic & their needs (Age, BMI, fertility issues, required treatment or the treatment they can afford).

Reviews

Speak to us to hear more about LGBT+ inclusive clinics or ones we’d recommend in your country, or you can speak to other within the community You can find out how their treatment went, how successful it was & what the service was like & hear first-hand what their service was like & how supported people felt.

Costs

Costs are important to factor into your decision, however most clinics are there or thereabouts in regard to pricing.  Some people however do travel abroad or out of State or county for treatment as it may be more cost effective- however always be mindful that if you do travel elsewhere, you may not be afforded the same legal protection or access as where you have come from. Ask questions regarding what their medication costs range from too, as this is where some clinics may earn a mark-up & increase their revenue, but you can also purchase your medication locally rather than via the clinic if your budget is tight or you are trying to be cost effective.

What treatment is best for you?

Deciding which is best may depend on your financial situation, if you are able to attend more regular appointments if you work, or if you’d rather use a technique that gives you the best success rate. Also, it may depend on how invasive a treatment you feel comfortable having, as some treatments include more testing, injections & scans; You may also want to take into consideration how it may affect your mental health having possibly multiple attempts, & how the costs can escalate.

Can you get treatment for free?

In the UK, across the NHS they have something called ‘CCG’s’ (Clinical Commissioning Groups). These groups are localized & are given a budget, whereby they can provide free fertility treatment if they wish. However not all Clinical Commissioning Groups across the UK provide it, some provide none, whereas others provide it just to heterosexual couples, & some provide it to same sex couples but have stipulations surrounding your eligibility. This is a wholly unfair process, one of which we are challenging to get changed to ensure it is more equal & inclusive across the country. To check whether your CCG covers LGBT+ fertility treatment, you need to check if your areas CCG covers it. However, if you can get free treatment, then that’s wonderful & you should apply for it.

In the US & other countries, some workplaces provide health insurance whereby fertility treatment is either covered, or medical expenses are. When applying for a job, it’s good to check out the medical coverage, & whether it included fertility treatment, associated costs, or fertility preservation. Or you can purchase health insurance yourself privately that covers treatment-always ensure you check what it includes.

Fertility Issues

If you already are aware of fertility issues that you or your wife or partner has, or some arise from testing at the early stages, this may affect your decision or enforce the fact you may require a specific treatment.

Planning & Costs

We advise that it is best to explore all avenues & take into consideration the costs including associated with your treatment choices. This may of course change when you have had tests run, & you may have to opt for a different yet more expensive treatment depending on what the clinic advises. There are multiple hidden costs (medication, time off work, travel costs, parking, taking leave from work) to also take into consideration as many people don’t factor these in when planning their finances. Ensuring that you have enough funds to cover you for a certain amount of treatment (plus a bit more) is essential & may help in case any additional costs occur. Having fertility treatment is a mentally, emotionally & physically draining process & you do not want to be worrying about money whilst trying to conceive.

Sperm Choice

Making the decision early on regarding whether you want to use a known donor (someone you know, or meet through an agency, organization, or social channels) or a sperm bank donor is important. If you go down the known donor route, we advise you seek legal advice to get contracts drawn up to protect you, the donor & any future children but remember to also check the legalities of your country & who is considered the parents by law. In some locations a ‘Letter of Intent’ is just that- shows intent but is not legally binding & may not stand up in a court of law. In some cases your clinic may also have their own pool of donors. When choosing a donor, ensure you’re also aware of the donor’s disclosure (whether they’re an Open donor or Unknown donor). The law differs in some countries, so ensure you are aware before you decide. 

It is also crucial when choosing a donor to consider the impact on your future children. How will your choice of donor impact them? How will you tell them about their creation? Will the donor have involvement? Research shows that telling your children of their conception at a young age is healthy & can have a positive impact on their experience of being donor conceived, & this is reiterated through the lived experiences & voices of man donor conceived people who now share their experiences to educate on how important it is.

As a Recipient Parent, the thought of sharing this news with your future children may seem disconcerting- some report feeling upset at the thought of their children wanting to find their donor, or even their biological siblings conceived from the same donor. But research shows that sharing their journey in an open & honest way means they can make decisions about their biological parenthood & their relationships in the future, so they feel supported & engaged in their journey as a donor conceived person- as they may want to meet or know about their donor or siblings or even their biological history in more detail.